Monday, 2 July 2018

A lil pit pat bout ma life

Hello what’s up? down? nah Assalammualaikum is the best way to start afterall.

right now am listening to never be the same by camilia , so anybody must be so curious hows my life goin after eighteen right? nah ma life are not so interesting at all. just a little ordinary here n there. weh what a language lah okay okay.

am listening to let me by zayn . so back to then . at the age of 16 i decide to change my journey.okay bosan pulak lagu ni so i change now to in case u miss me by matthew 😽 . in case u miss me i wont change ma number if u need someone to call. bruh . forget it .

okay so at the age if sixteen i decide to change my journey i take science stream before and i felt like i want to futher my arabic so i decided at that time science agama would be ma journey. so a lil bit nicekan diri while learning religious thing . lol kk rn am listening to heathens by twenty one pilot.

so that time i futher my form four n the rest dekat sekolah menengah kebangsaan sungai pusu. anddddd stay at hostel for the first time. bruh u dont know that homesick feeling is so sick. lol everytime my parents datang jenguk then time dorang nak balik i boleh pulak nak berair mata im so weak lah even im the eldest in my siblings. n then u know what u came from a not so religious background then dekat hostel tu some or maybie most of em are lil bit religious lah kan always like to judging seyh. like idk. im sick of people like that n sometimes i pun dah mcm dorang so im sick of maself.

and then thinking and thinking, well that time semua tak matang like biasalah teen age right? so im not so making friends sangat time dekat asrama dulu. im just like wif myself all the time. so dari situ lah kot i belajar be independent sikit weh betul ke camtu eja? watever lah tapi i be more like dah suka sorang sorang sampai sekarang like dah biasa . sampai orang pun cam whats wrong wif u? im like i dont need anyone in ma life i can be wif me all the time so dont bother lol.

but then u sedar yang u actually alone . but sometimes u rasa sometimes u tak u just let it go. hahaha. thats my life. sampai u pergi mall u makan sorang sorang hahahah but that another story haha. i mean afterall thats how it all affect my life watever lah i nak cakap yang semua tu lah bagi kesan macamni kat i sekarang . eh how so penin sangat my words? lol okay . haha dont wanna be so emo right now currently listening to havana by camilia ohyeah i hop my heart is in havana lol 😝

okay so after sampai spm lah. hahahhaah i pun taktahu kenapa i bodoh gila spm i teruk gila. maybie thats how my life affected me so far .

now am grooving to 24k magic bruno mars . what u tryin to do? 24karat magic in de air~

so after spm apply here n there. so sad upu not on ma side. i applied matriks and all. dad even asked me to apply tahfiz that time like dad, teruk sangat ke perangai along? lol no lah u realize at that time ur father love u so much he want u to be surrounded wif gud people n be nice and be more religious,

its a beautiful nightt we lookin for smething down to do hey babe i think i wanna marry u yeah thats what im currently listenin to. so then guess what? i got matrik. in sains kesihatan. at kulim, kedah bakhang. at the same time i got diploma, and guess what course? diploma in tahfiz and syariah . bruh that got me goosebump eveytime ppl asked me zara u amik kos apa dlu? i pun wif a humble heart said i amik syariah kos dulu and they be like, okay. and look at me like im so religious after dude ! u dont know me? im a rock star 🌟  lol .

so yeah i think u know what my last decision. i took diploma. my dad macam nak i amik matrik instead. i pulak macam istikharah jugak, that night i felt like so tenang if i took tahfiz and syariah i dont know why. but i felt it lah. so i took diploma 3 years at kolej universiti alquran, kuala kubu bharu.

at that time lah eighteen till twenty half, i belajar growing up. ride a 🚊 train, make friends, from brunei banyak, sabah, and all. but u know what ? ramai budak kedah katsitu sampai i rasa suka bila cakap loghat kedah smpai i rasa hello zara? u nak kawin dengan orang kedah ke? n then i fikir dude thats so far awayyyy remember dulu u nak amik matrik kat kulim pun u taknak pergi now u nak jodoh kedah ohplease no. i just suka loghat depa je. penang pun macamtu kan loghat dorang? hahaha

right now am listening to rolex by ayo ohyeah dab lol. so i banyak lah belajar katsana i belajar shopping alone. naik train sorang pergi kl sentral, ts, mid, klcc like alone weh. ayah marah lah jugak ofcourse. and then dari situ i banyak belajar be so berdikari but not so berdikari. lol n nu sentral always be my favourite place untuk lepak and release stress even jauh lah jugak nak naik train dari kuala kubu bharu tu till kl sentral lol sanggup weh. how sad ma life.

okay rn gold by kiira while dancing to choreography by lia kim 1 million dance πŸ’ƒ. okay so banyak lah experiences from diploma life dulu. crush? ofkos lah ada . suka ? ofkos lah ada bruh we are hooman afterall right? but i suka tu takdelah i bercinta zaman diploma dulu. bruh tengok nama tempat tu pun u all punya mindset like oh semua budak baik baik takde nak cintan cintun hahahah thats how im thinking at first but then oh tak dierang semua sama je like orang luar haha . just they are more religious lah . they tu cam termasuk aku je sebab aku pun belajar situ lol but am not so im just ordinary girl rockin my life here n there. lol they nice not like me.

but i learn so many things lah there. bruh tempat i tu kan kalau diorang suka diorang series smpai nak masuk minang terus lah after habis nanti . proof? dah banyak . kawan i satu kos dierang takdela i nampak bercinta pun time tu tapi adalah rumor rumor tu pastu boom! menjadi jugak eh korang kawin jugek alhamdulillah congrats! no fake hope lah.

lol listening to happier by ed now. so banyaklah i nak cakap i banyak belajar katsana. actually kat mana mana tempat pun banyak benda boleh belajar . like your surroundings, people around u, everything . forgot to mention, why i tak bercinta time diploma dulu? hahaha actually i dah doa awalawal if u wanna know , i pray that i tak bercinta bila i jejak kaki kat tempat tu i pray that i tak fikir pasal tu pun time i diploma katsitu. haha n look πŸ‘€ Allah so amazing. im so strong that time .
bukan no one bothering me but Allah protect . i pun bukan jenis keluar bilik sangat . i nak keluar oun time i nak keluar shoppin thats all pastu terperap dalam bilik layan kdrama, dancing sampai pengsan lol! and then study. lol studyyy sangattttt.

and the thing is i jumpa classmate i kat tempat i kerja. dia pun tengok tengok. i pun tengok dia balik dengan muka saiko i lol πŸ˜† n balik tu boleh pulak dia dm i dekat instagram i gigih kot get rid all boy-friend kat ig i how can he jumpa?! then i tak sombong jangan risau. i reply je. i rasa muak i block balik lol what a bad ass. sorry 😐

and then i pun πŸ‘©β€πŸŽ“ graduateeee . pss tipulah i tak fikir pasal my sad love story time diploma dulu. ada lah i stalk jugak but tak selalu. like so jarang . look how strong i masa tu?! im so proud of maself hoyeah.

n then i punya pointer tak hebat pun weh. i dah cakap i tak study pun i dancing je dlu. oh so sad what an ass u zara . iknow. sebabtu upu i takdapat. hahahhaa belajar tinggi pun tapi susah dapat upu . what a horrible life u been living zara. so i calm myself think positive maybie Allah want me to work first, experience more life be more matured get surrounded with more people ha camtulah . so i decided to work .


love, zara πŸ’•